Each morning, early, you tumble into our bedroom. You do a long route around to the far side of the bed, and stand for a moment waiting. Waiting for me to raise my arm, to welcome you in under the covers. I don’t need to open my eyes. I can feel you there; I can feel you looking at me. This, almost more than anything, makes me feel like a mother.
You are a big boy. I know that big boys won’t want to do this forever. Your sister could never lie still long enough for it, and never particularly liked the weight of my arms upon her. She is more of a bird, and you, more of a puppy. She likes my arms to lift her up closer to the sky, and you like my arms to weight you down closer to the earth.
Sometimes I get a panicked feeling …. that I have too many things to do, and that I will forget some of them. Or that I won’t do them right. When I feel like this, I close my eyes and feel you lying in my arms. Like you do in the mornings. Your fingers are in my hair, and your breath is on my face. It calms me. It makes me feel like I am a mother, and that I’m doing okay at it.
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This post is a “Monday Moment” inspired by Capital Mom’s provided theme for this week of “Arms.”
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