Isn’t it ironic.

A traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think
A little too ironic…and, yeah, I really do think…

Yes, Alanis I really do think. Yeah, I really do.

Like when I did all my Christmas shopping online to avoid the mall.
Only to have to spend an entire Saturday in consumer hell.

******

See what happened my dear readers is that I signed on as a consultant. The contract arrived on Friday, and guess what? I’m starting on Monday. You’re thinking, big deal? Julie works as a consultant all the time. That’s her job.

But the kicker on this one is that it requires me to be on site. That’s right — on site. And by on site, I don’t think they mean in my flannel pyjama pants, do you? Yeah, me neither — darn. Double darn.

Soooo … after finding every last Christmas shopping item online and boasting to you all about how I avoid the mall at all costs … I spent the whole damn day in a mall. On a Saturday. In pre-Christmas mania.

While many women might love a guilt-free reason to head out shopping, for me, it’s torture. Trying on 50 million things while some skinny little 15-year-old continues to ask, “how’s it going?” While I say, “it doesn’t fit.” Then she gives a fake, “Aw, that’s too bad.” Repeat that cycle — over and over again all day. Ah, the joy.

It’s also ironic that I used to be that skinny little 15-year-old standing at the change room door. I spent so many years working retail that it kinda ruined the whole “Christmas mood” thing for me. Especially the music. You can learn to deal with the lines, the impatient shoppers — just about anything but the Christmas music. Please. Kill. The. Music. But nooooo, that music plays non-stop from post-Halloween until after New’s Year Day.

Anyhow, enough of my rant.

Yes, Alanis I really do think it’s ironic. Really, really ironic. That I spent the day in a mall. And not for Christmas shopping. That I spent a good chunk of change. And not for an enjoyable experience.

But hey ….

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out 

I still believe life is helping me out in its own funny way. I’m really looking forward to this challenging assignment and the fantastic team that comes with it. Thanks, life. I mean it. Sometimes one just needs a little kick outta their flannel pants.