Spare me the “stranger danger”

I’m tired of hearing about “stranger danger,” and I don’t like the idea of teaching children the concept of “stranger danger.”

I mean, really. Is it really necessary to instill a fear in children about their fellow community members when the facts show that child abduction is an extremely rare occurence? My child already has her own self-instilled fear of aliens, does she need this one too? 

So please, spare me the fear-mongering. Why? Because I worry enough as it is. That’s what Moms do best, afterall.

Let’s look at some facts on “stranger danger”:

• In 1999, 203,900 children were abducted in the U.S.A. by a family member seeking to interfere with a parent’s custody; 98% of the children were returned.
• In this same year, there were only 115 cases in the U.S.A. of the stereotypical variety, in which a stranger is the perpetrator and the child is kept overnight, held for ransom or killed; 60 percent were returned safely.
• That’s 115 cases of stranger abduction in a population of more than 320 million.

I know, I know … you don’t want to be in that group of unfortunate 115. I hear you.

But I also don’t want my child to grow up fearful of others — her very own community.

Remember when we were kids? You were let out the door to simply “go play outside.” Does anybody do that anymore? Cause it was really fun. 

I realized just how over-protective we’ve become as parents when I suggested to my 7-year-old that she “call on a friend.” She didn’t know what that meant. I was referring to that once familiar act of ringing the doorbell and asking “do you want to come out and play?” Soon it will have vanished from our communal lexicon altogether.

I really don’t think that people have changed that radically since we were young. I really don’t think that there are more pedophiles today than there were in the 1970s. I really don’t. And the stats back me up on it.

So let’s scratch this one worry off of our already long list of worries.  Instead, let’s encourage our kids to “call on a friend” to play.

And if we, as adults, have a lingering fear of “stranger danger” — let’s not share it with our children. Instead, let’s ask the other parents on the street to join with us and communally watch out for our children and let each other know if anything worrisome has cropped up.

Are you with me? (Or do you think I am naively deluded?)

Listen in: In 15 minutes (4 pm today), CBC’s All in A Day will be hitting this issue. Dani from Postcards from the Mothership and Lynn from Turtlehead will debate the issue. I can’t wait to hear what they have to say!