On Friday night, I went to a neighbour’s vernissage. (I like using this word “vernissage” because it makes me seem all cultured-up, doesn’t it? Okay maybe not. But I still like it! I used it with my brother on the weekend, but he didn’t seem half as impressed as I was. “Verni-what? What word are you using?”)
Um. Where was I? Ah yes, I was at a vernissage. Which is the opening of an art exhibit and it’s the fun part because the artist is there and you get to drink champagne and munch on yummy tidbits and stare at beautiful things on the walls. So, I’m standing there in a beautiful home, sipping bubbly and life is grand — except that I am itchy. Every single mosquito that has managed to make it indoors is giddily swarming around me. I’m not joking. People were actaully commenting on it. And it’s not that I actually mind the swarming part, it’s the itch of course.
This situation seemed to sum up how I’ve been feeling lately. Everything is so good — family, home, work. But, for some reason, I feel itchy. And when I look around, no one else around seems to be itching. Just me.
In trying to describe this in conversations to friends, I have wondered out loud if this is what a “mid-life crisis” feels like. But no one answers my question because they get so distracted by the term “mid-life” and feel this insane urge to convince me that I have not, in fact, hit the middle of my life. Which I think is really silly. Because, really? How old does the average person live? I think it is so delusional when people insist that “mid-life” is 50. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan to live to 100.
In case this notion of “mid-life” disturbs you as well, I’ll use the term “itchy” instead.
I seem to have an itch I can’t scratch. And why can’t I scratch it? Because I just don’t know what it is! Where it’s coming from, or why.
Here are ways that I have been trying to locate the itch:
- I have been scouring the real esate market. Perhaps I need to live closer to “the action” — closer to the city centre.
- I’ve considered giving up the home office life and working for someone else (other than my clients!). Maybe I need back into the daily action of office life?
- I’ve bought myself an entirely new spring wardrobe thinking that I just needed “a little lift.” At least the salespeople’s commission cheques won’t be itchy!
- I’ve even bought myself a new MAC lipstick.
And still?
Itchy.
So, what IS this feeling … spring fever? Mid-life crisis? Or is it a real, concrete need for change?
Tell me, do you ever feel like this? What do you do to scratch an itch? Should I just leave good enough alone or jump headfirst into a life change?
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